The visitation and funeral are behind us.
Now what am I supposed to do?
There's a part of me that thinks if I don't cry, it won't be real. If I don't cry, I'll outlast this cruel, evil joke and laugh at the prankster, "You didn't fool ME!"
It's childish, I know, but goddammit . . . haven't I the right to be childish? Haven't I the right to yell for my brother back? And why not my sister, too? I don't want to hear people tell me how much he taught them about life or how great a guy he was. I want to watch cheesy B movies with him while eating Cheetos and drinking pop, complaining because we can't figure out what to get Mom for Christmas.
I don't want to be all alone.
3 comments:
Hey sweetie! I know what you were meaning in your blog, but you're NOT alone!! I am here for you always and forever!! You are the best and I love you!!!!
I may have been born in '81 (when mda camp started and you ole foggies started without me) and started going to mda camp at age 13. I still have a lot of common memories. And I've seen lots of videos and pictures of everybody who went to camp before me. I feel as I am appart of what was then.
We may not have the same bloodlines either or you may have not known me when you were 8 years old as I was umm not born yet.. But I still feel like a little sister to you.
Please don't forget I'm a Gina Too..
Let the love fill the air.
pceflwrgrl@yahoo.com
I coulda swore I left a post, but when I revisited, it wasn't here (I guess my blog skills are about as bad as my Mom's LOL). I am so sorry to hear about Paul. You are in my thoughts & prayers. I know time makes it easier, but it doesnt' go fast enough after such a loss. Take it minute, by minute, hour by hour & day by day, and know that there are lots of people out there who are thinking of you & wish we could make things better!
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